How To Make Disrespectful Kids Behave

Many kids behave in a lot of disrespectful and rude ways to their parents and older ones. sometimes, they can slam doors, roll their eyes and even get the extent of telling their parents they hate them. How does a child's attitude constitutes a disrespect and what actually engender these disrespect. All of these will be discussed in the following pages below and what to do to contain these disrespectful behaviors. [nextpagelink][/nextpagelink] What Do You Consider to be "Disrespect"? In the land of disrespect, people hurl insults at one another, put others down and hurt one another with intention. A good way to make the distinction between disrespect and general rudeness is to consider the intention behind it. Is your child simply expressing his unhappy feelings and his wish to have more freedom, perhaps? Does he express his frustrations with rude behaviors like slamming his door, stomping his feet, abruptly walking away from you while talking, having baby tantrums or rolling his eyes? These need to be understood for what they are - an expression of his frustration, rather than an intentional act of disrespect and defiance with the desire to hurt you. Let’s say that you’ve told your 13-year-old he can't use his cell phone at night, but you catch him texting when he's supposed to be sleeping. Would you consider this disrespectful behavior toward you? Would you react to it and punish him for his disrespect? Or would you consider this instead his clumsy attempt to exert control over his life and make his own rules? Would you punish him because you think he's being disrespectful toward you? Would that change if he called you a bad name and threw something at you while you were taking his phone away and doling out consequences? And would his reaction be considered crossing over the boundary into the land of disrespect? The answer to the last question is "yes." So, what are the various ways to deal with a disrespectful child and turn the dynamic around in your home ? Find out about that in the next page . [nextpagelink][/nextpagelink] 1. Don't treat this as a personal attack--even though it can feel that way. To help your child be respectful, understand that their rude behavior might be an expression of their frustration about their lack of independence, not an attack against your authority. In fact, it’s because you have that authority that they're acting out! Don’t take it personally; just hold them accountable for any rude behavior. It also might be a good idea to consider whether you're giving them enough reasonable independence. Is it time to allow your child to make more of his own choices and face the consequences, whether good or bad? 2. Expect Respect. To help your child be respectful, EXPECT him to comply with your rules and listen to you. Of course, you also need to be flexible, not rigid or dogmatic, and listen to him and get his input--but the bottom line is that you will expect him to listen and follow the rules that you have set forth. A parent can demand respect, but the behavior that results probably won’t be authentic. Authentic respect comes from a parent behaving in ways that invite respect. [nextpagelink][/nextpagelink] 3. Behave the way you want your child to behave. To help your child be respectful you must live by your own principle of acting respectfully to your child NO MATTER how he is behaving. Act respectfully while holding him accountable – these actions aren't mutually exclusive. It's difficult to continue to act respectfully toward your child even when he is hurling insults at you, but it's so important to be a good role model. Act with integrity without letting your child off the hook. 4. Ask yourself, "Who owns this problem?" When it comes to your kids being mildly rude toward you, ask yourself each time it happens, "Who owns the problem of disrespect?" For example, if your daughter stomps off and mutters under her breath after you tell her she can't go to the party, don’t let her rudeness belong to you. Don’t engage in it. Her rudeness is her problem. Your problem is deciding if she can or can't go to the party and enforcing whatever you thoughtfully and non-reactively decided. Her next problem is to figure out better ways to communicate her upset. She can have a tantrum even if she is 3 or 18--that’s her business. You don’t have to give in to it, withdraw from it, or flip out about it. You have your own problems to figure out; that’s your business. Also remember that stomping off and muttering (even though it's annoying) might be showing a lot of self-control on her part – she could have screamed at you or been physical if she hadn’t walked away muttering. The more you are able to act on behalf of yourself instead of in reaction to her, the more she will be able to see you separately from herself. To Read More, Check Here: Photo Source: Flickr