As parents , we should endeavor to raise our children in a way to give them quality and exemplary lifestyle rich and worthy of emulation to project our images and reputation.There are 5 suggested ways we can achieve that. Get those tips in the article below and you can also scroll down to watch a serial video below on how to start training your child the beginner way :
We all want to raise kids who know how to work hard to create what they want in the world. Nobody wants to raise a child who thinks the world owes him, who feels like he’s entitled to take whatever he wants. But Kara is right. We also DO want to raise a child who feels deserving of the blessings of abundance—spiritual, emotional, and yes, physical—the rich life that should be the birthright of every child. How do we raise a child who feels deserving – but not “entitled”?
1. Don’t feed your child’s emotional hunger with possessions. Material cravings are so often a salve for the deeper need all humans share to be deeply seen, accepted, cherished. Often when we feel guilty that we aren’t spending enough time with our kids, we buy them things. When your child gets demanding, that’s a red flag to stop, drop your busy-ness, and get clear about your priorities. What can you do with your child today to simply enjoy her? How can you set up rituals in your week to spend more time connecting? As the old saying goes, children thrive when you give them half as many presents and twice as much of your presence.
2. Empower kids to create their own abundance. Too often, out of our own anxiety about money, we shame children when they “want” material things. But the opposite response of giving kids everything they ask for also teaches the wrong lessons. There is a better way—we can empower our child. Consider these three approaches to your child in the toy store when you’re buying a present for her cousin’s birthday.
“Don’t even start asking…you know better than that! Don’t you ever get enough? Do you think money grows on trees? You don’t even take care of the things you have!”
This approach teaches your child that he doesn’t deserve (of course he’s deserving), that he’s greedy for wanting things (all of us want things, all the time) that his parents can’t afford the things he wants (which can lead to a sense of deprivation), and that he is powerless to get what he wants in life (which makes him feel resentful; all those riches lined up on the shelves are for other people but not for him.) The result? Something that looks a lot like entitlement, or at least looking out for number one.
“I hear you, I hear you—you really want it!….How much is it?….Well…..I guess so…Do you promise you’ll be a good girl all week and really listen?”
This is bribing your child to cooperate, which always digs you into a hole. But what’s worse is that if we just hand our kids everything they want on a material level, it creates the expectation that they’ll be handed whatever they want in life, especially if they make a fuss, and promises they can’t necessarily keep. She’ll feel great for the moment, since our brains give us a hit of dopamine every time we chase, conquer, acquire. But that purchase will quickly lose its luster and she’ll be craving the next thing. That addicts her to purchasing things (or manipulating others to purchase things for her) as a way to feel good, and it gets her into the habit of acquiring more, more, more without feeling gratitude for what she has, both material and non-material.
“You really want that, I hear you…Wow, that is cool, isn’t it?…It’s not in our plan for today“ (In other words, this is not about a poverty mentality. It’s about priorities) “…I’m sorry, I see how much you like it…Do you want me to put it on your birthday list?…You’re right, your birthday is a long way off….But if you still want it, you can have it then….And you know, if you really want it sooner, you can earn the money…Sure, I can think of some odd jobs that aren’t part of your normal chores…And you’re getting old enough that you could walk the dog for Mrs. Jennings, or shovel the snow this winter around the neighborhood.”
This child feels empowered. If she really wants this item, she can get it—either now or later. She’s learned that anything she wants is possible, with enough hard work.
3. Empower your child by giving her the chance to learn the value of hard work. Remember the days when kids did odd jobs all summer to earn money for a bike? Those kids knew the worth of a nickel, took care of their bikes, and felt enormously empowered. They knew they could realize their dreams by working hard. I’m not saying you can’t buy a new bike just because your child outgrew her old one, but all children need to learn that if they work hard at things, they can make their dreams come true. They learn more from earning than from just being handed things. And the pursuit of a goal is rewarding in itself.
4. Help your child learn how to hold a job. Earning money at home is one thing, but there’s nothing as educational as working for someone outside the family for pay, which teaches real responsibility in the real world. Start when your eight year old wants something badly and her birthday’s still far off, by paying her to do tasks you wouldn’t normally expect of her (washing the car, weeding the garden). But over time, be sure this expands to odd jobs in the neighborhood (walk the neighbor’s dog or offer snow shoveling service in the winter), then to mother’s helper/babysitting jobs when it’s age appropriate, and finally to after-school or summer jobs. Even if your family has plenty and never needs your teenager to work, every teen should learn by experience what it takes to earn a dollar.
5. Role Model. Children won’t always do what you say, but they’ll always, eventually, do what you do. If you shop for relaxation or fun, so will your child. If you “must have” the latest tech toy, your child will follow in your footsteps. If you express gratitude for everything you have, so will your child.