Getting closer to your child cannot be any better than promoting creative ideas that children love and will always demand from parents at spare times. These ideas will eventually transform into habits which will for long foster the closeness and relationships between parents and children. There are numerous creative ideas but only 4 of them will be shared in this article. Read the article below to learn these habits and to adopt and implement with your kids to strengthen the ties between you and them.
We all crave those close moments with our children that make our hearts melt. Connection is as essential to us parents as it is to our children. When our relationship is strong, it’s also sweet — so we receive as much as we give. That’s what makes parenting worth all the blood, sweat and tears.
That connection is also the only reason children willingly follow our rules. Kids who feel strongly connected to their parents WANT to cooperate. They trust us to know what’s best for them, to be on their side. I hear regularly from parents that everything changes once they focus on connecting, not just correcting.
But we’re only human. There are days when all we can do is meet our children’s most basic needs: Feed them, bathe them, keep an encouraging tone, hug them, and get them to sleep at a reasonable hour so we can do it all over again tomorrow. Given that parenting is the toughest job on earth — and we often do it in our spare time, after we work at another job all day — the only way to keep a strong bond with our children is to build in daily habits of connection. What kinds of habits?
1. Aim for 12 hugs (or physical connections) every day. Hug your child first thing in the morning, when you say goodbye, when you’re re-united, at bedtime, and often in between. If your tween or teen rebuffs your advances when she first walks in the door, realize that with older kids you have to ease into the connection. Get her settled with a cool drink, and chat as you give a foot rub. (Seem like going above and beyond? It’s a foolproof way to hear what happened in her life today. You’ll find yourself glad, many times, if you have that high on your priority list.)
2. Connect before transitions. Kids have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another. If you look her in the eye, use her name, and play a bit to get her giggling, you’ll fill her cup and make sure she has the inner resources to manage herself through a transition. Mornings go much easier when you start with a five minute snuggle upon awakening to help your child transition from sleep into the executive functions of dressing and teeth brushing.
3. Play. Laughter and rough-housing keep you connected with your child by stimulating endorphins and oxytocin in both of you. Making playfulness a daily habit also gives your child a chance to work through the anxieties and upsets that otherwise make him feel disconnected — and more likely to act out. And play helps kids want to cooperate. Which is likely to work better, “Little Gorilla, it’s time for breakfast, come eat your bugs and bananas!” and “Don’t you think your steam shovel wants to get in the car now so he can see the construction site on the way to the store?” or “Eat your breakfast now!” and “Get in the car!”
4, Special time. Every day, 15 minutes with each child, separately. Alternate doing what your child wants and doing what you want. On her days, just pour your love into her and let her direct. On your days resist the urge to structure the time with activities. Instead, play therapeutic “games” to help your child with whatever issues are “up” for her.